Okay so I said I'd write something so I suppose I should do that.
I've been getting mixed feelings as of late. Sometimes I want to do one thing, sometimes I want to do another. I have a feeling that I'm going to go do something stupid and then not be able to turn back from it. Yet it looms ominously in my head...I have to do something about it, only I keep procrastinating because it's hardly something simple to deal with.
I talk to people about stuff, and some things they say make sense and some things don't. Or maybe it does and I'm just not at the point of realizing it yet. Then again there is still much that has been unsaid, and until everything just comes out, I'm not sure I'll be able to really figure out anything I worry about. Yes, I talk about that a lot. I know that. But it's because it has been pissing me off for a long time. That or something like that is, though I'm not sure what exactly.
I know within the next couple weeks is when I'm going to have to do something. The plan is to have all the rest of my stuff over in Vancouver before May, and then once I'm there, I'm there. There's no changing my mind now. And my time is coming closer and closer. The more that time passes, the more I feel the urge to procrastinate. I've been doing a fairly decent job of keeping a level head, but here and there I can feel it trying to throw me off kilter.
I have been having a big urge to be around people as many times as I can before I leave. I feel like I've missed out on a bunch of time I could have spent with them because I've wasted it while worrying about something else. The only problem with catching up right now is that I'll go from having a more or less increased social life and being used to being around people all the time, to going to Vancouver and having no one with me or nobody nearby that I can just walk to their house whenever I want to just stop and forget about the things that worry me and be around people I love. Le sigh.
Who knows what experiences Van will hold though...in fact I'm quite looking forward to them. Though I can feel this extra time I've had to spend now in Nanaimo is wearing at me...I feel like my comfort zone is getting annoyed with me and would like to have it's rule back in my head. But so far my defense line is keeping it out. All I need to do is get over there, and the biggest battle (with that at least) will have been done.
As for everything else, well, that will just be a continuous work in progress.
I got the urge to watch Dr. Horrible today, and every time I watch it I remember so much awesome about it, and find other ways to relate it to myself. Still my favourite thing from there ever is:
"Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface."
"...And sometimes there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one."
"Huh?"
"Like with pie."
And so, since I've got this song in my head now, today's lyrics-of-the-day are courtesy of Dr. Horrible Act I. :P
Freeze Ray - Dr. Horrible
Laundry day
See you there
Underthings
Tumbling
Wanna say,
Love your hair
Here I go,
Mumbling
With my freeze ray I will stop the world
With my freeze ray I will
Find the time to find the words to...
Tell you how
How you make
Make me feel
What’s the phrase?
Like a fool
Kinda sick
Special needs
Anyways...
With my freeze ray I will stop the pain
It’s not a death ray or an ice beam
That’s all Johnny Snow
I just think you need time to know
That I’m the guy to make it real
The feelings you don’t dare to feel
I’ll bend the world to our will
And we’ll make time stand still
That’s the plan
Rule the world
You and me
Any day
Love your hair
"What?"
"No, I-I-I...love the...air..."
Anyway...
With my freeze ray I will stop--
I love the little random imagined dance he does with Penny during this song. Also, I never noticed before that he throws a wink in on that last verse. That gained this song even more awesome points. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: NPH just equals epic win.
Note to self: I totally want to have a sing-along blog. I mean, I post songs and stuff often enough as it is. :P Man, if I ever get a webcam, I am SO making musical v-logs. Lol.
Second note to self: Even more awesome idea: Come up with a superhero(villian?) or other random not-me type persona and do v-logs with that, à la Dr. Horrible. I don't know how I'd go about it or if it would even work well (nevermind that it's not exactly an original idea :P), but it would still be hella funny. Sweeeet. I am SO going to do that now. ;)
xoxo,
Me
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