The other day I was on the train with my friend and was looking at all the decorated houses on the way. Upon seeing some of the more elaborate setups I was thinking, how ridiculous is this. Some people will drop hundreds of dollars just to make their house look pretty for a few weeks for almost no purpose at all except to look more impressive than their neighbours. Meanwhile, I hesitantly charge $6 worth of groceries to my credit card because I've run out of cash until the next payday. Two days ago I was sick so badly that I actually got dehydrated to the point of needing an IV, and yet I couldn't take an extra day off because I couldn't afford to. So I went to work on Sunday and watched as all the last minute shoppers did the thing sheeple do best.
I passed a 'Christmas' store the other day in the mall, and I saw in their front display a $400 decorative tree. I felt disgusted inside and thought of all the things that kind of money could be NOT wasted on. Just because you have the money doesn't make buying something like that a good idea.
There was a Salvation Army dude outside Coquitlam Mall who seemed to be singing carols whenever I walked past. I gotta give those guys credit for standing outside in crappy weather to do a job like that, and to remain in bright spirits while doing so like this guy was. But what pisses me off most is that how the only season they bother doing that is Christmastime. It's not necessarily that people feel more generous during the holidays. You just put something that makes people feel guilty right in front of their faces and of course they will react to it. Then they rationalize it with what they just spent on their purchases. "Well, I just spent $800 at Holt Renfrew, and at least $500 of that was for me. I guess I can spare a couple bucks."
Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of charity I don't believe in for various good reasons, but no matter your stance on the matter, you can agree that the above is quite the example of how humanity in general shouldn't, but does think about a lot of things, no? Don't deny it for the sake of feeling righteous. I'm not saying YOU do it. But it happens everywhere.
My mom used to say if you want to help someone out, do it directly. What she hated was people who talk so much about how they like to donate to things, then feel all self-entitled to get pats on the back from the universe like they've done it some kind of grand favour, all to write it off in their taxes a couple months later and no loss to themselves. But they walk away with this unearned sense of, "And ~I~ helped!" and they feel all warm and fuzzy inside thinking of how much 'better' they made 1/365 days of the year for someone. I grew up dirt poor. I know what kind of food/clothes/monetary donations people give. IT'S CRAP. And I'm not saying that to be thankless. I just mean I've seen better quality things and healthier food at the dollar store. But that $400 tree is so pretty, right?
To add a note of clarification. I'm not trying to sound like if it's not helpful that you shouldn't be spending money on things, or that it should even go to anyone else. Because I don't believe that. It's just that growing up in the circumstances I did, and still living an existence where I literally have to budget to the cent, when I see people spending considerable amounts of money on DUMB things like decorations, that's what I think is stupid. Anyway, I didn't mean this to be all about monetary waste, but it's just something that naturally has to come up.
I don't particularly dislike Christmas. I just dislike a lot of what people do at Christmas. It seems that during no other part of the year do you see so many false faces on. People celebrate the 'holiday' more because it's become tradition (or habit) rather than any personal spiritual or religious meaning. Hell, I don't even know, well, anyone who even does it for that reason at all. And yet again people feel entitled to receive all the benefits of a religious holiday. It has got so much recognition in fact, that it is often the one and only day of the year that a lot of businesses will still recognize with a day of closure. But I also kinda wonder if they just figure everyone is just too broke to go out by the time it rolls around.
They make tech support work the full day (as in, nearly 24hrs) on Christmas, though. Because god forbid you can't immediately play with your new cell phone/iTampon (yeah, I did that)/xbox as soon as it's out of the box (teehee...let's see who got that), right? Who needs to talk to friends and family anyway? If I can't do it with my phone, what's the point? ...But that's for another rant.
What's ultimately funny is a lot of people probably don't even fully understand the 'holiday' at all. I'm talking about the stuff that isn't commercialized. I don't care if you like to celebrate Christmas for whatever the hell reason you want. But I do care if you insist on being an uninformed ditz and just repeat what everyone else tells you about it.
But if I continue on this thread, I'll just instigate a whole bunch of angrypants controversial arguments from the people that buy $400 trees 'to have a nice holiday with their families.' I've probably already insulted many already, who either have already given up and chalked this up to, "Sheeyan is ranting again/doesn't know what she's talking about/CLEARLY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE REAL MEANING OF CHRISTMAS," or some such garbage people like to use to make themselves feel better about themselves and convince themselves how wrong you must be. I mean THEY don't agree with you, therefore you MUST be wrong!
Or, they're still reading, just to make sure they're good and offended enough to respond irrationally by the time they're done. If you've done or are planning to do either of those things, please save your energy and my time and go fuck a hat. (My new favourite insult. Thanks, Dr. E!) If not, please continue to appreciate my long winded opinions because I'm not quite done yet.
Another point of clarification. Usually, I do enjoy doing little things for Christmas. I like making some nice food and getting things for people I care about, if I'm able to. There was something else my mom used to say when I was a kid that, as a kid it annoys you to no end because it just sounds like a stupid reason not to do something to you, but really it does make sense when you think about it. "You should treat every day in my house like Christmas. Everything that people say the holidays are about shouldn't be reserved to one day a year...people should be happy to do them without expecting anything back."
Which is I guess is why my annoyance is increased more than usual this year. Today is December 24th, and I haven't even had TIME to think about what I'm doing for Christmas (if anything), because unlike most, I don't really have family around planning things for me, and for myself it JUST wasn't a priority. Why? Because I have had real important shit to deal with.
This month has been crazy. Shows happening, extended work hours wearing on my increasing insomnia, moving, looking for a place for us, finding a replacement for me, worrying about making sure everything is organized because I don't want to rely on whether or not other people will do them, etc. I've come damn near a few panic attacks just in the past few days. Hell, I've taken visits to the hospital three times in the past few weeks just because I've been so bloody run down just taking care of life. And you know what? I have negative dollars to spend even if I wanted to, because moving is expensive. Especially after having to take sick days. While many people are deciding whether to buy reindeer or santa (not capitalized on purpose) covered wrapping paper, I'm debating whether or not I'm going to have enough energy to pack my house.
That is why I don't CARE about your holiday party plans, fake smiles, dwindling wallets, illuminated into outer space houses, Christmas trees that cost almost as much as my rent, and other such superficial illusions. For those of you who just do their own business and take time to enjoy themselves and the ones they love, I'm glad you can do that during the holidays. I'll be spending time with those I care about most too, but again, to me it doesn't freaking matter what day of the year it is. Just saying.
In conclusion, to all of you who continuously choose not to be a douche at all times of the year including now, you have my salutations and respect. Even if you are at times though, I love you anyway. As long as you don't inundate me with Christmas songs. That's just asking for it. Seriously, who even likes those? Stores have it all wrong. They don't induce Christmas cheer. They just make the mall rage worse. Anyway. Tata for now and happy whatever the hell!
xoxo
~Sheeyan :D
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